Is it worse to dump or be dumped? (2023)

What's worse getting dumped or dumping someone?

No contest here, dumping is a breeze compared to being dumped. Being dumped is like getting the sack from work but worse because it feels like someone's just sacked you from your own life.

It may seem cold if they seem like they don't care at you at all but our research has found that isn't entirely true. Dumpers do hurt just like dumpees but they have a different way of processing the grief than you do because they view relationships in a different way fundamentally.

Breakups are painful, no matter what brings them about and whether or not you want to break up. Initiating a breakup when the other person does not want to break up can cause sadness, guilt, and worry. Being broken up with can lead to feelings of hurt and rejection.

A new study of online relationship support finds that men tend to experience emotional pain more than women when their relationship takes a turn for the worse.

Dumpers remorse refers to the regret, ambivalence, and general discomfort someone feels after breaking up with someone. Not everyone goes through this experience, but it's extremely common. Generally speaking, breakups are hard on everyone.

The truth is that most guys will at one point consider coming back after dumping you but that doesn't necessarily mean they will act on it. Deciding whether or not to come back depends on many different factors like the reason for the breakup and if they can find someone they think is better than you.

The dumper often does not feel they are entitled to grieve those losses, because they were the one who wanted it to end. Grieving the end of the relationship can become complicated, because some losses cannot be grieved ahead of time, but by the time they are being experienced, that grief is not supported or allowed.

Dumper – the person who initiates the breakup and dumps their partner. Dumpee – the person who gets broken up with or dumped. Dumpees are usually the ones who are most likely to be reeling after a loss and ironically, they're the ones who we get to deal with the most.

In most cases, if you give your ex enough space, they will at some point miss you. Of course, that doesn't necessarily mean they're going to get on their hands and knees and beg for you back. For some the “missing emotion” can be fleeting. For others, all consuming.

You might be wondering whether guys hurt after dumping you. The answer is yes, but they might not show it openly due to the stigma surrounding the expression of pain or sadness. Due to this suppression, men don't express how they feel about a breakup, but instead, they bottle it up.

Is it harder to be the dumper or the dumpee?

Typically, evidence suggests the dumpee normally faces more pain and they certainly do suffer the most intensity of emotions. That being said the dumper rarely escapes pain free.

If he avoids seeing you at all costs even though it is important, it is one of the signs he is heartbroken over you. He knows that when he sees you, the memories will come flooding, and it might be too much for him to handle. Also, he would ensure avoiding places where you are likely to show up.

There's a reason for this, according to new data from Match's Singles in America survey: Guys just get over breakups faster. Match surveyed more than 5,000 men and women and found that half of dudes are over a rejection in a month, while the average woman takes four months to get over it.

If you average all the reputable research on the ex recovery process and chances of getting your ex back, there's about a 43.5% chance your ex will come back without doing anything. Those aren't exactly betting odds. That means six out of ten times you're probably not going to get your ex back.

The Separation Elation Stage (Lasting Anywhere Between 1 – 2 Months) This stage encompasses the actual breakup/escape as well as the dumpers relief.

Men often go through an emotional state called “Dumpers Remorse” after the woman finally goes away. This state hits after one month to six weeks after the man passes through the initial happy phase after a breakup. He starts to give away signs he knows he messed up the whole thing from that time.

So, a few weeks to two months is the answer to the question, “How long does it take for a guy to miss you?” Typically, men realize what they lost when they can't find a woman with their personality. By then, they learn not all women are the same, and they shouldn't have broken off the relationship.

Can breaking up strengthen a relationship?

Although ending a relationship can be painful, a separation can give a couple space to work on personal issues that have been harming the relationship. 'It can help individuals reassess their priorities, helping them to know more about what they would like to get out of a relationship,' says Fredrickson.

What do dumpers feel during no contact? During no contact dumpers initially feel a sense of relief that the relationship is over. Then they start getting curious about why their ex never called. Then they start stalking the ex on social media to see how they are doing without them.

Initially, they feel happy and relieved that they have done the job of dumping you - they will have been thinking about if for some time, even though it might have been a shock for you. The first few weeks they will just be glad it's over and be enjoying their life without you.

What Are Your Chances of Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back? The bottom line is that a dumper with a secure attachment style tends to move on the quickest after a breakup.

How does the dumper feel when the dumpee moves on during the No Contact? A dumper's reaction depends on two things: their personality and the feelings they had about you. If he didn't have very strong feelings for you and the relationship wasn't working: The dumper will feel relieved and happy about you.

Should you contact the dumper after no contact? No matter what you think, don't. Stop thinking about how the dumper feels during no contact or what's the no contact dumper's point of view. It won't help to look for answers to – are dumpers afraid to contact.

The short answer is “no, your ex won't forget about you during no contact” but I'm sure you'd like to know how I know that. Get your ex back with Coach Lee's Emergency Breakup Kit! For starters, the no contact rule is what gets your ex to remember you!

In reality, men experience more emotional pain after a breakup. They also need more time to move on from heartbreak. Since many guys are not comfortable displaying their emotions, they become avoidant. Loss of a relationship is often a common cause of why men go cold suddenly.

How do you know if a breakup is temporary?

In short, I'm of the belief that most dumpers ARE NOT afraid to contact their exes. Instead, they're simply falling victim to their natural avoidant tendencies which makes most people think they're afraid of contacting them.

The male mind during no contact

The no-contact rule male psychology forces him to recognize his loneliness. After a breakup, if you stop contacting him, he will feel free and enjoy this phase as much as he can. But, with time, the loneliness and guilt pang will start to kick in.

Yes, it is okay to break up with someone you still love. There are a multitude of reasons that a relationship may no longer be working, even if you and your partner care deeply for each other. You might feel like best friends or even soulmates, but you can't stay in relationships that aren't right for you.

Several studies show that men experience more depression, distress, and anxiety after breakups than women do. Men might like to come across as being tougher than overcooked steak after a breakup, but the truth is that they're actually more the consistency of jelly.

Reconnect with those around you

Regardless of how you cope, it's important to take some time to reconnect with the people closest to you, including friends, family or roommates. Make a point to sit down for lunch or dinner with a close friend to talk through how you're really doing and feeling (and how they are, too).

What is the first thing to do after a break up?

"In the early days after a break-up, you're likely not to feel great, so try to distract yourself as much as possible," says Lester. "Make plans with friends so you don't have time to wallow." Book a dinner date with your best friend—and if it turns into an hours-long hang, all the better.

While it is established that about half of all marriages end in divorce, it is commonly assumed that the breakups are initiated by both genders equally. In fact, it is surprising to most people that women are actually more likely to end their marriages than men.

The love you once shared for your ex just doesn't fade away overnight, and that's something you have to be patient with yourself about. Studies show that, when relationships end, people may deal with depression, PTSD, anxiety, and other mental health issues.

Studies suggest that most people start to feel better around three months post-breakup. One study, which evaluated 155 undergraduates who'd been through breakups in the last six months, found that 71 percent start to feel significantly better around the 11-week mark, or around three months.

Losing a family member.

Key points. Ghosting and orbiting are among the "worst" ways to break up with someone.

They are denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance, according to Mental-Health-Matters. These are the natural ways for your heart to heal.

Trauma dumping isn't necessarily abusive, although it can cross the line into emotional abuse when someone uses it on purpose to exert power over you. Meanwhile, someone sharing trauma without considering how it affects you may feel unpleasant to be around, but they aren't actively seeking to control or manipulate.

The breakup spikes for highest amount occur in spring and right before the holidays. The lowest amount or breakups occur between the end of July and beginning of October.

Who is a breakup harder for?

But a new study shows it is hardest on men. This new study has found that breaking up causes more emotional pain for men. We've got three things to know about it. Thing one is how researchers discovered this.

When looking at the timeline of breakups, many sites refer to a “study” that's actually a consumer poll a market research company conducted on behalf of Yelp. The poll's results suggest it takes an average of about 3.5 months to heal, while recovering after divorce might take closer to 1.5 years, if not longer.

Emotional dumping is a toxic form of venting. When you emotionally dump you are unaware of both your own emotional state and the state of the listener. Emotional dumping does not include the consent of the listener and ignores containment within time, topic, and objective.

Venting vs Trauma Dumping

Venting involves someone opening up about something that's bothering them, but doing so in ways that are respectful to the person listening. Trauma dumping doesn't involve boundaries to protect the time, feelings, or needs of the person on the receiving end.

Moffa suggests moving your body by taking a walk, exercising, or simply shaking or dancing it out. “Emotion is always better in motion,” she says. It may also be helpful to journal about the feelings that bubble up in response to emotional dumping.